Trained Dogs

I have always believed that life is a journey, not a destination. But no one seems to have told the Chinese. In their rush to achieve the various symbols of wealth, prestige and an international lifestyle, many of the pleasures that go with new acquisitions are lost.

One example is dog training. In the last ten years, owning a dog in China has gone from something highly unusual to something common place. But training the animals is still a relatively new idea. The solution, in time-poor, cash-rich China? Boot Camp for dogs. Yep - the Chinese send their dogs away for a few weeks to special doggy schools where they are trained in the art of sitting, not pulling on their leads and generally making their owner look good.


But I still have very fond memories of the amazing bonding time that training my first dog provided, and the personal satisfaction of seeing my efforts being rewarded. That is all sadly lost if you delegate this task to others and take no interest in the process.


Regrettably, many Chinese middle-class parents may, in time, find they are doing exactly the same with their single child:

• From the moment the child is born, the parents are hands off.
• For the first few months, the Grandmother stays with the new mother and takes total charge. Additional help comes in the form of a dedicated live-in Ayi (maid) who will take full responsibility for feeding, bathing and putting the child to sleep.
• As the kid grows older, the Ayi and Grandparent relationship is retained as the mother quickly goes back to full time work - essential to maintain the higher income levels that the family require to sustain their (misguided?) material aspirations.
• With the start of school comes relentless homework, but this valuable bonding opportunity is lost as the support/assistance of the child is often delegated to group-run homework clubs, whilst the weekends are childless as the kid is off attending morning to evening extra schooling and music classes.
• Finally there is university (hopefully in the UK or USA , if the kid has good grades and the family bank balance can afford it)

Throughout this whole "journey", the parents seem to only have their eyes on the destination. But by then it is too late. I have a Chinese friend who has realised their mistake and is now frantically trying to bond with their teenage kid before he grows up. But the boy just thinks it is weird and does not understand why they are now being followed everywhere and hugged by a father who has taken little interest in them for the past 13 years.

Historically, the Chinese had children primarily to ensure their retirement security. Those days may have passed, but some of the attitudes have unfortunately remained.